The only thing that could make me feel unhappy (at least so far) in my relationship with Esmond is the distance. It is a great deal of lesson to learn. To learn to let go and to give each other space is one of the hardest lessons in relationship, especially when our term time and holiday time are different. We are put in situations where either one of us is stressed out or super free. This is the place where I have to be so rational and think for his sake as I get a bit dependant whenever I feel unwell.
To put God first before him, even to find God first before going to him is such a lesson to learn. And, to be very honest, I am still learning!! I kinda fail today, I have to pray more about it.
So, today I was mostly in bed resting while watching movies. There came the times when I missed him quite a lot but I couldnt get hold of him and I tell myself that he's studying and that I need to learn to give space. I am still learning, there're times I'm just so tempted to wish to have him around more. I had to fight that fleshy desire, cos I felt a bit lousy not having him around while my rationality kicked in and told me to be understanding. It's such a mind battle. Haha. But, I am glad he always understands whenever I kind of fail in learning well in this aspect. =D
The desire of our flesh is always our main enemy.
