Grace of God

Grace, my childhood friend came to visit and spent time and to see how God touched her and comforted her, I was so touched myself and encouraged. That's how amazing His Love and Grace are, to bring peace that transcends all understanding. It is all good to have her over and so we could catch up, plainly spend time and just enjoy the fellowship! :) 

So I am back in Sunderland after another long journey of travelling, and trust me, Summer has bid her goodbye. Haha, it's really cold again and wet. I had to rest the past few days more after the long journey. But God was great to send me great friends to fetch me from the bus station that midnight and to bring me more clothes to put on to keep me warm. And I was just thankful that I managed to reach home safe and sound. And, of course, to learn to say goodbye to Esmond and still be joyful because we know we would continue to bless each other with our lives in Sunderland and Aalen, and I was encouraged when Esmond reminded me at the airport that God has plans for us in where we are and so we shouldnt be too upset that we are apart from each other. (Though I'm still learning! :D)

Also, it's holiday! So, I have the time of the world to build my relationship with the lover of my soul! I enjoy this time where I have so much time to be able to just talk to God and just simply enjoy His presence. It's really awesome because by looking at how the German students are preparing for exams, I know I should not take for granted that I actually have four months holidays, though I am going to have two months placement in Alnwick! :) I am quite excited about it though and I have reasons to shop for formal clothes! Yay! Haha

So, our pastor, Dave and his wife, Cathie had us over for dinner two nights ago and it was good just spending time with other malaysian students,just talking and sharing about lives, our holidays and just plainly everything. And of course, not to forget the good food!! :) 

Dave loves desserts!!! :) 

With Dave and Cathie!

Dave and Heidi! =) 

Grace and I

And just now, I started my first session of learning bible with my German friend, Lydia! I was excited and it was good. I am still feeling so excited about the whole idea about reading the bible with Lydia via Skype! :) God's creative, is he not? =)

To sum things up, God's grace has been overflowing. :) Despite the fact that my wisdom tooth is trying to be funny, I might need to see a dentist. Gasps. 

Use your Faith!!

So, that famous story of Jesus and his disciples where Jesus was really calm when the disciples panicked as they see the storm was our devotion today.

Before our devotion, we went out cycling. It was super good after not being able to cycle for sooooo long. I was delighted but like how it's in Malaysia, I am scared of the dogs. It's better here as dogs are normally tied to their owners. But as I cycled down this slope, I see a quite-big, black dog not far away which is not being tied to the owner, I stopped and tell Esmond that I am not going there. But it was the only road home, (at least that I know of) there were fields on both side. 

Esmond assured me that it's alright, he will cycle beside me so the dog will not attack me first even if it was going to do so. So, well, I trusted him and cycled slowly beside him, cautiously so I won't overtake him even a bit. Who knows, as we are getting nearer, the owner went forth and tied the dog. I was so relieved. 

While I was doing devotion on using ur faith, this story came up to me. I have faith in Esmond and so I was able to go forth to face this obstacle, the dog with the faith that even if he attacks me, Esmond will be there to avoid it from happening. But the best part was the obstacle which seems scary could be not as scary as you thought it is. But, if you were not able to use that faith to step out, you could never know that it's not that difficult and scary (in this case) after all. 

We can speak about our faith, hear sermons about it, sing songs about it, share about it and even read books about it. But only at this time of storm, u know that how much faith u have. 

The challenge is, use your faith and prove your faith if you are able to speak about it, if not what is the difference of you to those hypocrite who talks about love but never love?

A really nice german worship song :)

To sum it up, it was a good day! =D

I AM ON FIRE AGAIN! PTL!

So I am back from The Hope Germany Festival!! It was a four days and three nights camp, so many testimonials, so many stories, so many lives touched, so many amazing things, so dear readers, I challenge u, this is going to be a super long entry. I want to write it all so that I don’t forget every bit of its goodness. & to remind myself what I have learnt from time to time as I look back.

So right after exam, I flew to Germany to meet Mr.man but the main purpose is to come to this camp!! It’s been so long since I long to be close to God to hear from Him again. And this camp has totally given me so much more than I could ever expect.

The theme was Why not? It was based on Exodus, where we Christians are illustrated as the Israelites, Pharoah the Satan/enemy and Egypt our personal bondage from freedom. And how after so many things that God has done to Israelites, it still could not convince them He is God. Are we the same? Staying in the wilderness for forty years, complaining and grumbling, not fulfilling His purpose to go into the Promise Land? Being bonded to our personal Egypt.

I learnt so much in this camp, I remember this sermon when they said that Christian life challenges us to sacrifice, to face enemies and even to have lifestyle changes. Are we ready to give up this space and time to spend time with God and even to reach out? Are we ready when people come and tell us that we are weird and trying to be “holy”? Are we ready when friends abandon us because they think we are too spiritual? Are you ready to give up and fast the things u like for the sake of God’s work?

And, EE was the workshop I went. He said, we reach out not because only the bible says so. But because WE LOVE. When I joined the workshop on discipleship, I was challenged again. She asked, if you were to teach a person to ride the bicycle, what’s the first thing you would do? We were talking about different ways, discussing about how we learnt to ride the bicycle. But, she said, no, that comes after because if u were to teach someone how to ride the bicycle, u need to be able to ride the bicycle yourself! I was like, Oh ya!!.. so if you were to make disciples, you need to know yourself about this salvation before you could even teach people. And this is phase 0, I was struck by it, I was asking myself, what am I waiting? Why am I not equipping myself yet?

There are so many testimonials that truly touched me in this festival, by looking at how God touched their lives. And the ones that touched me the most were how they are able to surrender their lives for God’s works. I was so encouraged. I cried. I repented before God. I remember how I was so on fire for my almighty God and where did this fire go all these years? I remember my vow with God to be a missionary, well a short term missionary was the promise though. (Haha) It was not a joke. Where did all these passion for people go? How did they die?

The last evening at the camp, I broke down before Him as I hugged Esmond and we were both praying earnestly. I was asking God, how could this be possible that Your love is so amazing. I was telling God that the scene of me n esmond praying earnestly together before Him was indeed ridiculous. I used the word ridiculous because I could never expect it to be happening. I never expect that God could touch us to this extent when I only ask Him to touch us, but His grace and love is more amazing than what we can expect. It can be so ridiculous because it cannot be comprehend, it is too amazing. When I shared about our stories and saw how souls are touched and encouraged by us, I could not praise Him more. Lord, finally, I sow in tears but I reap in joy.

You may not be gifted but you can be the most fitting person in His will, in the place where He put u in to fulfil His purposes. I always thought I cant play instruments, I cant sing, I cant really speak well not even to say to preach, I can’t see myself a talented person in any sense. But I know I love God, I want this intimate relationship with our God, I enjoy His presence and I want to serve Him for the rest of my lives but I don’t know how. When Esmond was trying to tell me the same thing, that he is not good enough, these words came out of my mouth, “Are u trying to say that u, the creation of God is not good enough? Are you an accident u mean?” He was touched, I was speechless because  know it’s from the holy spirit. So we came to realise that yes, we are all special and we can all play a part as the body of Christ to serve Him.

So, at the end of this camp. We all have different visions for God. I want to reach out for the students in my uni, especially the Malaysians. It’s my last year in Uni. And pastor came to me few months ago about doing something like a Malaysian night to tell the church members about us and so they can know more about us and at the same time, support us. So.. why not? I am going to do this and at the same time, reach out to the new students and of course, every Malaysian student at least that I could invite them to. I believe that God is going to make things amazing again!

Being motivated again in this camp, I have finally come to know that yes, I want to start from phase 0 for discipleship! I want to get equipped so that I can go forth and make disciples! I had always failed over the years to equip myself with biblical knowledge to learn more about His words as I am tooooo lazy but this time God is great!!! He sent me a german! She is going to be mentoring me and we are going to do bible study together. Tell me, why not? He works in amazing ways! I never imagine that I would end up in Hope Germany Festival and starting to read the bible with a German friend! GOD IS GOOD!

Also, the fellowship was awesome!! I met a lot of new people in this camp, being able to have a couple really meaningful and impacting conversations. I like the fact where there are a lot of slots where we can just chill and chat and talk about our faith our lives. I learn so much from all these conversations and people that God has brought into my life.

To see how the most unexpected person being touched and people getting baptised. I cant comprehend and I found myself speechless again and again as I look upon His grace and blessings for the people who are willing to open their hearts to Him. So many stories told, so much tears shed. The tears of repentance, tears of joy, tears of being touched. I could feel the holy spirit working among people. Tell me that how could it be if this God is unreal.

So, why not? It’s time to change!

To look forward

The one thing that keeps me going now is that meeting up with mr. man right after exams. What else can be more motivating than that?

And the church camp in Germany. Wohoo.. after 3 years not going to an actual camp!! how glad cud I be??

And lots of good times that comes AFTER EXAM!!! *grins* I cant stop imagining!!! awwww... haha.


Im sooooooo excited but u cant imagine the amount of notes im reading in a day! It shall pass. soon. real soon. hehe. Press on!!!!

Of all sorts.

It was Mother's day last weekend! I was happy to see how mom is excited with the flowers we got her :) It's really glad how the technology is so advanced today that though I am in the UK I could make sure that the flowers reach her on time. Happy Mother's Day! it was good to ring the mothers and grandma that meant a lot to me on this day =)

So, I had my third paper yesterday! 75% done! Woohoo. 

Swollen eye lids, tear stained eyes with muscle cramps in the stomach. It sucked me dry. I was defeated the night before this paper. The battle was tough. Wrestled and struggled and still defeated in the end. There I was feeling all helpless in pain. I gave up. I gave in to the situation. It was overwhelming. Good few hours of tortures. Until finally His words comforted me and the spirit of peace finally won the battle in the midst of my wounds. I got up victorious. But I was exhausted from the whole battle. I slept like a baby afterwards. 

The mind is the battlefield of mine. 

The Lord is my refuge. To be in Him I know I am safe from lies from Satan, 

It's been 4 months since Esmond and I started this courtship today. Everyday has been a joy to be able to learn to be in this together. It has not been easy some of the times. With all sorts of challenges. But I thank God for this man, for he is so patient and kind with words although he is never too generous with his time and space. haha, But he's still a good man afterall.

A random post of all sorts really. 

To smile.

Exam's more than merely reading everything u cud for the coming paper. It's about surviving, and pulling myself through. When pain is exaggerating enough to put me bedridden, I know I am able in Him. 

Pain, the easiest way Satan gets hold of me. And it's a reason to smile when I defeat him, each and every time. 

To hear from Him.

God, these pain are real and they never leave me. But I know you are real and u never leave me too. 

I pray aloud normally when I spend time with Him and when this came out, I was touched myself. I know the holy spirit is working and God is telling me that, He is real and ever faithful. 

The pain reminds me everyday of His grace. I can't help but praise Him.