Totally touched!!!

Just when I finish typing the last post, my phone beeped. It's Ros, the landlady of the house which I would be staying in the next two months.

"Don't bring anything. We have all u need. What time will you arrive at the station? I will collect u."

That's love I received from a total stranger. I was touched, very touched.

A thankful heart.

I went to Alnwick last monday to see my store manager! I would be doing a summer placement in a town, called Alnwick, where the Alnwick Castle is. I bet lots of people know alnwick castle as it's one of the major shooting site for Harry Potter. Hehe.

that's the castle and the lion bridge. nice eh?

Well well, Grace joined me!! So, we took a train to alnmouth, the place where I will be going to stay during my two month placement in Alnwick. When we were in the train, we passed by a super beautiful scenery. And the next minute, we are in Alnmouth station already. So, I was so excited, and shocked, because the beautiful scenery I saw earlier is actually Alnmouth. I know I never google map it before I came. 

That's what I saw and was totally in awe.

A peaceful place. All I see were houses. And, birds were chirping and singing so happily as though they were rejoicing with me. Then off we took a bus to Alnwick, another old, lovely town. I was quite nervous to be honest when I first went in but it was all good. My store manager and the other colleagues are all quite friendly and I was glad that I could understand the English quite well. I was a bit worried to be honest. Haha. So it was just a short chat about the whole placement, and I was really excited for this whole thing. Woohoo. I cant wait for it to start. It sounds exciting!! A whole new experience, living with a new family, working with new colleague, with a mission to complete --> get myself a position in pre-reg with boots next year. 

Grace and I then visited Alnwick Castle from far. Lol. The entry ticket is really expensive, so we thought we would go there when we both start earning money. Haha. So we are both having faith that Grace is getting  a job in the next two months! :) Haha. But we did enjoyed ourselves in the tree house in Alnwick Gardens. We didnt visit the gardens as well though people always tell me how unique the poison garden is. One day, I will be there. :) 

The hanging bridge. hehe. We both thought we were back in Bukit Aup Park back in hometown. XD

It was really awesome, just spending time talking and catching up. And to look at people, you know who I mean here. Kids!!! There's this girl who played peek-a-boo with us, and she was so friendly when she said Hello and byebye. Adorable! It was good time, just sitting down and enjoyed our hot chocolate while taking some polaroid photos. =)

Then, we went back to the town for shopping! It so happened that Alnwick is full of those small shops with interesting things to look at. I always enjoy every bit of them and we spent lots of time looking at all these little things and got excited over them until we came to the charity shops, i.e. cancer research uk. That's when the whole shopping spree starts. There're so many good stuffs in the shop!! I got myself two formal blouse and one formal skirt for only £12!!! And they were all very new and nice. I was delighted!! 

It all ended with a nice dinner over at an Italian's, Grace belated birthday treat for me. hehe. Just before I was going to go back to Sunderland, my landlady texted me her home address! I was excited, so excited that I told Grace I wanna look at the house! We didnt get to greet them cos it was quite late and I don't want to surprise them. ahhaha. 

Tidal House

I know, it's huge and it's so beautiful right. I was so excited!!! and to walk out the street, there a bus stop for me to catch a bus to alnwick and the sea is right in front of the street. How cool is that? I cant wait, seriously! I am super excited now. Hehe. I really thank God for helping me to find them through my pastor, Dave. I was really worried before this to get myself an accomodation!

Tell me, how can I not give thanks when God has been so good to me all this while? It was a superb day, full of thanksgiving. I will learn, learn to give thanks all the time, not only on good days but EVERY SINGLE DAY!

The Distance.

The only thing that could make me feel unhappy (at least so far) in my relationship with Esmond is the distance. It is a great deal of lesson to learn. To learn to let go and to give each other space is one of the hardest lessons in relationship, especially when our term time and holiday time are different. We are put in situations where either one of us is stressed out or super free. This is the place where I have to be so rational and think for his sake as I get a bit dependant whenever I feel unwell. 

To put God first before him, even to find God first before going to him is such a lesson to learn. And, to be very honest, I am still learning!! I kinda fail today, I have to pray more about it.

So, today I was mostly in bed resting while watching movies. There came the times when I missed him quite a lot but I couldnt get hold of him and I tell myself that he's studying and that I need to learn to give space. I am still learning, there're times I'm just so tempted to wish to have him around more. I had to fight that fleshy desire, cos I felt a bit lousy not having him around while my rationality kicked in and told me to be understanding. It's such a mind battle. Haha. But, I am glad he always understands whenever I kind of fail in learning well in this aspect. =D

The desire of our flesh is always our main enemy. 

Grace of God

Grace, my childhood friend came to visit and spent time and to see how God touched her and comforted her, I was so touched myself and encouraged. That's how amazing His Love and Grace are, to bring peace that transcends all understanding. It is all good to have her over and so we could catch up, plainly spend time and just enjoy the fellowship! :) 

So I am back in Sunderland after another long journey of travelling, and trust me, Summer has bid her goodbye. Haha, it's really cold again and wet. I had to rest the past few days more after the long journey. But God was great to send me great friends to fetch me from the bus station that midnight and to bring me more clothes to put on to keep me warm. And I was just thankful that I managed to reach home safe and sound. And, of course, to learn to say goodbye to Esmond and still be joyful because we know we would continue to bless each other with our lives in Sunderland and Aalen, and I was encouraged when Esmond reminded me at the airport that God has plans for us in where we are and so we shouldnt be too upset that we are apart from each other. (Though I'm still learning! :D)

Also, it's holiday! So, I have the time of the world to build my relationship with the lover of my soul! I enjoy this time where I have so much time to be able to just talk to God and just simply enjoy His presence. It's really awesome because by looking at how the German students are preparing for exams, I know I should not take for granted that I actually have four months holidays, though I am going to have two months placement in Alnwick! :) I am quite excited about it though and I have reasons to shop for formal clothes! Yay! Haha

So, our pastor, Dave and his wife, Cathie had us over for dinner two nights ago and it was good just spending time with other malaysian students,just talking and sharing about lives, our holidays and just plainly everything. And of course, not to forget the good food!! :) 

Dave loves desserts!!! :) 

With Dave and Cathie!

Dave and Heidi! =) 

Grace and I

And just now, I started my first session of learning bible with my German friend, Lydia! I was excited and it was good. I am still feeling so excited about the whole idea about reading the bible with Lydia via Skype! :) God's creative, is he not? =)

To sum things up, God's grace has been overflowing. :) Despite the fact that my wisdom tooth is trying to be funny, I might need to see a dentist. Gasps. 

Use your Faith!!

So, that famous story of Jesus and his disciples where Jesus was really calm when the disciples panicked as they see the storm was our devotion today.

Before our devotion, we went out cycling. It was super good after not being able to cycle for sooooo long. I was delighted but like how it's in Malaysia, I am scared of the dogs. It's better here as dogs are normally tied to their owners. But as I cycled down this slope, I see a quite-big, black dog not far away which is not being tied to the owner, I stopped and tell Esmond that I am not going there. But it was the only road home, (at least that I know of) there were fields on both side. 

Esmond assured me that it's alright, he will cycle beside me so the dog will not attack me first even if it was going to do so. So, well, I trusted him and cycled slowly beside him, cautiously so I won't overtake him even a bit. Who knows, as we are getting nearer, the owner went forth and tied the dog. I was so relieved. 

While I was doing devotion on using ur faith, this story came up to me. I have faith in Esmond and so I was able to go forth to face this obstacle, the dog with the faith that even if he attacks me, Esmond will be there to avoid it from happening. But the best part was the obstacle which seems scary could be not as scary as you thought it is. But, if you were not able to use that faith to step out, you could never know that it's not that difficult and scary (in this case) after all. 

We can speak about our faith, hear sermons about it, sing songs about it, share about it and even read books about it. But only at this time of storm, u know that how much faith u have. 

The challenge is, use your faith and prove your faith if you are able to speak about it, if not what is the difference of you to those hypocrite who talks about love but never love?

A really nice german worship song :)

To sum it up, it was a good day! =D

I AM ON FIRE AGAIN! PTL!

So I am back from The Hope Germany Festival!! It was a four days and three nights camp, so many testimonials, so many stories, so many lives touched, so many amazing things, so dear readers, I challenge u, this is going to be a super long entry. I want to write it all so that I don’t forget every bit of its goodness. & to remind myself what I have learnt from time to time as I look back.

So right after exam, I flew to Germany to meet Mr.man but the main purpose is to come to this camp!! It’s been so long since I long to be close to God to hear from Him again. And this camp has totally given me so much more than I could ever expect.

The theme was Why not? It was based on Exodus, where we Christians are illustrated as the Israelites, Pharoah the Satan/enemy and Egypt our personal bondage from freedom. And how after so many things that God has done to Israelites, it still could not convince them He is God. Are we the same? Staying in the wilderness for forty years, complaining and grumbling, not fulfilling His purpose to go into the Promise Land? Being bonded to our personal Egypt.

I learnt so much in this camp, I remember this sermon when they said that Christian life challenges us to sacrifice, to face enemies and even to have lifestyle changes. Are we ready to give up this space and time to spend time with God and even to reach out? Are we ready when people come and tell us that we are weird and trying to be “holy”? Are we ready when friends abandon us because they think we are too spiritual? Are you ready to give up and fast the things u like for the sake of God’s work?

And, EE was the workshop I went. He said, we reach out not because only the bible says so. But because WE LOVE. When I joined the workshop on discipleship, I was challenged again. She asked, if you were to teach a person to ride the bicycle, what’s the first thing you would do? We were talking about different ways, discussing about how we learnt to ride the bicycle. But, she said, no, that comes after because if u were to teach someone how to ride the bicycle, u need to be able to ride the bicycle yourself! I was like, Oh ya!!.. so if you were to make disciples, you need to know yourself about this salvation before you could even teach people. And this is phase 0, I was struck by it, I was asking myself, what am I waiting? Why am I not equipping myself yet?

There are so many testimonials that truly touched me in this festival, by looking at how God touched their lives. And the ones that touched me the most were how they are able to surrender their lives for God’s works. I was so encouraged. I cried. I repented before God. I remember how I was so on fire for my almighty God and where did this fire go all these years? I remember my vow with God to be a missionary, well a short term missionary was the promise though. (Haha) It was not a joke. Where did all these passion for people go? How did they die?

The last evening at the camp, I broke down before Him as I hugged Esmond and we were both praying earnestly. I was asking God, how could this be possible that Your love is so amazing. I was telling God that the scene of me n esmond praying earnestly together before Him was indeed ridiculous. I used the word ridiculous because I could never expect it to be happening. I never expect that God could touch us to this extent when I only ask Him to touch us, but His grace and love is more amazing than what we can expect. It can be so ridiculous because it cannot be comprehend, it is too amazing. When I shared about our stories and saw how souls are touched and encouraged by us, I could not praise Him more. Lord, finally, I sow in tears but I reap in joy.

You may not be gifted but you can be the most fitting person in His will, in the place where He put u in to fulfil His purposes. I always thought I cant play instruments, I cant sing, I cant really speak well not even to say to preach, I can’t see myself a talented person in any sense. But I know I love God, I want this intimate relationship with our God, I enjoy His presence and I want to serve Him for the rest of my lives but I don’t know how. When Esmond was trying to tell me the same thing, that he is not good enough, these words came out of my mouth, “Are u trying to say that u, the creation of God is not good enough? Are you an accident u mean?” He was touched, I was speechless because  know it’s from the holy spirit. So we came to realise that yes, we are all special and we can all play a part as the body of Christ to serve Him.

So, at the end of this camp. We all have different visions for God. I want to reach out for the students in my uni, especially the Malaysians. It’s my last year in Uni. And pastor came to me few months ago about doing something like a Malaysian night to tell the church members about us and so they can know more about us and at the same time, support us. So.. why not? I am going to do this and at the same time, reach out to the new students and of course, every Malaysian student at least that I could invite them to. I believe that God is going to make things amazing again!

Being motivated again in this camp, I have finally come to know that yes, I want to start from phase 0 for discipleship! I want to get equipped so that I can go forth and make disciples! I had always failed over the years to equip myself with biblical knowledge to learn more about His words as I am tooooo lazy but this time God is great!!! He sent me a german! She is going to be mentoring me and we are going to do bible study together. Tell me, why not? He works in amazing ways! I never imagine that I would end up in Hope Germany Festival and starting to read the bible with a German friend! GOD IS GOOD!

Also, the fellowship was awesome!! I met a lot of new people in this camp, being able to have a couple really meaningful and impacting conversations. I like the fact where there are a lot of slots where we can just chill and chat and talk about our faith our lives. I learn so much from all these conversations and people that God has brought into my life.

To see how the most unexpected person being touched and people getting baptised. I cant comprehend and I found myself speechless again and again as I look upon His grace and blessings for the people who are willing to open their hearts to Him. So many stories told, so much tears shed. The tears of repentance, tears of joy, tears of being touched. I could feel the holy spirit working among people. Tell me that how could it be if this God is unreal.

So, why not? It’s time to change!

To look forward

The one thing that keeps me going now is that meeting up with mr. man right after exams. What else can be more motivating than that?

And the church camp in Germany. Wohoo.. after 3 years not going to an actual camp!! how glad cud I be??

And lots of good times that comes AFTER EXAM!!! *grins* I cant stop imagining!!! awwww... haha.


Im sooooooo excited but u cant imagine the amount of notes im reading in a day! It shall pass. soon. real soon. hehe. Press on!!!!