I AM ON FIRE AGAIN! PTL!

So I am back from The Hope Germany Festival!! It was a four days and three nights camp, so many testimonials, so many stories, so many lives touched, so many amazing things, so dear readers, I challenge u, this is going to be a super long entry. I want to write it all so that I don’t forget every bit of its goodness. & to remind myself what I have learnt from time to time as I look back.

So right after exam, I flew to Germany to meet Mr.man but the main purpose is to come to this camp!! It’s been so long since I long to be close to God to hear from Him again. And this camp has totally given me so much more than I could ever expect.

The theme was Why not? It was based on Exodus, where we Christians are illustrated as the Israelites, Pharoah the Satan/enemy and Egypt our personal bondage from freedom. And how after so many things that God has done to Israelites, it still could not convince them He is God. Are we the same? Staying in the wilderness for forty years, complaining and grumbling, not fulfilling His purpose to go into the Promise Land? Being bonded to our personal Egypt.

I learnt so much in this camp, I remember this sermon when they said that Christian life challenges us to sacrifice, to face enemies and even to have lifestyle changes. Are we ready to give up this space and time to spend time with God and even to reach out? Are we ready when people come and tell us that we are weird and trying to be “holy”? Are we ready when friends abandon us because they think we are too spiritual? Are you ready to give up and fast the things u like for the sake of God’s work?

And, EE was the workshop I went. He said, we reach out not because only the bible says so. But because WE LOVE. When I joined the workshop on discipleship, I was challenged again. She asked, if you were to teach a person to ride the bicycle, what’s the first thing you would do? We were talking about different ways, discussing about how we learnt to ride the bicycle. But, she said, no, that comes after because if u were to teach someone how to ride the bicycle, u need to be able to ride the bicycle yourself! I was like, Oh ya!!.. so if you were to make disciples, you need to know yourself about this salvation before you could even teach people. And this is phase 0, I was struck by it, I was asking myself, what am I waiting? Why am I not equipping myself yet?

There are so many testimonials that truly touched me in this festival, by looking at how God touched their lives. And the ones that touched me the most were how they are able to surrender their lives for God’s works. I was so encouraged. I cried. I repented before God. I remember how I was so on fire for my almighty God and where did this fire go all these years? I remember my vow with God to be a missionary, well a short term missionary was the promise though. (Haha) It was not a joke. Where did all these passion for people go? How did they die?

The last evening at the camp, I broke down before Him as I hugged Esmond and we were both praying earnestly. I was asking God, how could this be possible that Your love is so amazing. I was telling God that the scene of me n esmond praying earnestly together before Him was indeed ridiculous. I used the word ridiculous because I could never expect it to be happening. I never expect that God could touch us to this extent when I only ask Him to touch us, but His grace and love is more amazing than what we can expect. It can be so ridiculous because it cannot be comprehend, it is too amazing. When I shared about our stories and saw how souls are touched and encouraged by us, I could not praise Him more. Lord, finally, I sow in tears but I reap in joy.

You may not be gifted but you can be the most fitting person in His will, in the place where He put u in to fulfil His purposes. I always thought I cant play instruments, I cant sing, I cant really speak well not even to say to preach, I can’t see myself a talented person in any sense. But I know I love God, I want this intimate relationship with our God, I enjoy His presence and I want to serve Him for the rest of my lives but I don’t know how. When Esmond was trying to tell me the same thing, that he is not good enough, these words came out of my mouth, “Are u trying to say that u, the creation of God is not good enough? Are you an accident u mean?” He was touched, I was speechless because  know it’s from the holy spirit. So we came to realise that yes, we are all special and we can all play a part as the body of Christ to serve Him.

So, at the end of this camp. We all have different visions for God. I want to reach out for the students in my uni, especially the Malaysians. It’s my last year in Uni. And pastor came to me few months ago about doing something like a Malaysian night to tell the church members about us and so they can know more about us and at the same time, support us. So.. why not? I am going to do this and at the same time, reach out to the new students and of course, every Malaysian student at least that I could invite them to. I believe that God is going to make things amazing again!

Being motivated again in this camp, I have finally come to know that yes, I want to start from phase 0 for discipleship! I want to get equipped so that I can go forth and make disciples! I had always failed over the years to equip myself with biblical knowledge to learn more about His words as I am tooooo lazy but this time God is great!!! He sent me a german! She is going to be mentoring me and we are going to do bible study together. Tell me, why not? He works in amazing ways! I never imagine that I would end up in Hope Germany Festival and starting to read the bible with a German friend! GOD IS GOOD!

Also, the fellowship was awesome!! I met a lot of new people in this camp, being able to have a couple really meaningful and impacting conversations. I like the fact where there are a lot of slots where we can just chill and chat and talk about our faith our lives. I learn so much from all these conversations and people that God has brought into my life.

To see how the most unexpected person being touched and people getting baptised. I cant comprehend and I found myself speechless again and again as I look upon His grace and blessings for the people who are willing to open their hearts to Him. So many stories told, so much tears shed. The tears of repentance, tears of joy, tears of being touched. I could feel the holy spirit working among people. Tell me that how could it be if this God is unreal.

So, why not? It’s time to change!