A thankful heart.

I went to Alnwick last monday to see my store manager! I would be doing a summer placement in a town, called Alnwick, where the Alnwick Castle is. I bet lots of people know alnwick castle as it's one of the major shooting site for Harry Potter. Hehe.

that's the castle and the lion bridge. nice eh?

Well well, Grace joined me!! So, we took a train to alnmouth, the place where I will be going to stay during my two month placement in Alnwick. When we were in the train, we passed by a super beautiful scenery. And the next minute, we are in Alnmouth station already. So, I was so excited, and shocked, because the beautiful scenery I saw earlier is actually Alnmouth. I know I never google map it before I came. 

That's what I saw and was totally in awe.

A peaceful place. All I see were houses. And, birds were chirping and singing so happily as though they were rejoicing with me. Then off we took a bus to Alnwick, another old, lovely town. I was quite nervous to be honest when I first went in but it was all good. My store manager and the other colleagues are all quite friendly and I was glad that I could understand the English quite well. I was a bit worried to be honest. Haha. So it was just a short chat about the whole placement, and I was really excited for this whole thing. Woohoo. I cant wait for it to start. It sounds exciting!! A whole new experience, living with a new family, working with new colleague, with a mission to complete --> get myself a position in pre-reg with boots next year. 

Grace and I then visited Alnwick Castle from far. Lol. The entry ticket is really expensive, so we thought we would go there when we both start earning money. Haha. So we are both having faith that Grace is getting  a job in the next two months! :) Haha. But we did enjoyed ourselves in the tree house in Alnwick Gardens. We didnt visit the gardens as well though people always tell me how unique the poison garden is. One day, I will be there. :) 

The hanging bridge. hehe. We both thought we were back in Bukit Aup Park back in hometown. XD

It was really awesome, just spending time talking and catching up. And to look at people, you know who I mean here. Kids!!! There's this girl who played peek-a-boo with us, and she was so friendly when she said Hello and byebye. Adorable! It was good time, just sitting down and enjoyed our hot chocolate while taking some polaroid photos. =)

Then, we went back to the town for shopping! It so happened that Alnwick is full of those small shops with interesting things to look at. I always enjoy every bit of them and we spent lots of time looking at all these little things and got excited over them until we came to the charity shops, i.e. cancer research uk. That's when the whole shopping spree starts. There're so many good stuffs in the shop!! I got myself two formal blouse and one formal skirt for only £12!!! And they were all very new and nice. I was delighted!! 

It all ended with a nice dinner over at an Italian's, Grace belated birthday treat for me. hehe. Just before I was going to go back to Sunderland, my landlady texted me her home address! I was excited, so excited that I told Grace I wanna look at the house! We didnt get to greet them cos it was quite late and I don't want to surprise them. ahhaha. 

Tidal House

I know, it's huge and it's so beautiful right. I was so excited!!! and to walk out the street, there a bus stop for me to catch a bus to alnwick and the sea is right in front of the street. How cool is that? I cant wait, seriously! I am super excited now. Hehe. I really thank God for helping me to find them through my pastor, Dave. I was really worried before this to get myself an accomodation!

Tell me, how can I not give thanks when God has been so good to me all this while? It was a superb day, full of thanksgiving. I will learn, learn to give thanks all the time, not only on good days but EVERY SINGLE DAY!

I AM ON FIRE AGAIN! PTL!

So I am back from The Hope Germany Festival!! It was a four days and three nights camp, so many testimonials, so many stories, so many lives touched, so many amazing things, so dear readers, I challenge u, this is going to be a super long entry. I want to write it all so that I don’t forget every bit of its goodness. & to remind myself what I have learnt from time to time as I look back.

So right after exam, I flew to Germany to meet Mr.man but the main purpose is to come to this camp!! It’s been so long since I long to be close to God to hear from Him again. And this camp has totally given me so much more than I could ever expect.

The theme was Why not? It was based on Exodus, where we Christians are illustrated as the Israelites, Pharoah the Satan/enemy and Egypt our personal bondage from freedom. And how after so many things that God has done to Israelites, it still could not convince them He is God. Are we the same? Staying in the wilderness for forty years, complaining and grumbling, not fulfilling His purpose to go into the Promise Land? Being bonded to our personal Egypt.

I learnt so much in this camp, I remember this sermon when they said that Christian life challenges us to sacrifice, to face enemies and even to have lifestyle changes. Are we ready to give up this space and time to spend time with God and even to reach out? Are we ready when people come and tell us that we are weird and trying to be “holy”? Are we ready when friends abandon us because they think we are too spiritual? Are you ready to give up and fast the things u like for the sake of God’s work?

And, EE was the workshop I went. He said, we reach out not because only the bible says so. But because WE LOVE. When I joined the workshop on discipleship, I was challenged again. She asked, if you were to teach a person to ride the bicycle, what’s the first thing you would do? We were talking about different ways, discussing about how we learnt to ride the bicycle. But, she said, no, that comes after because if u were to teach someone how to ride the bicycle, u need to be able to ride the bicycle yourself! I was like, Oh ya!!.. so if you were to make disciples, you need to know yourself about this salvation before you could even teach people. And this is phase 0, I was struck by it, I was asking myself, what am I waiting? Why am I not equipping myself yet?

There are so many testimonials that truly touched me in this festival, by looking at how God touched their lives. And the ones that touched me the most were how they are able to surrender their lives for God’s works. I was so encouraged. I cried. I repented before God. I remember how I was so on fire for my almighty God and where did this fire go all these years? I remember my vow with God to be a missionary, well a short term missionary was the promise though. (Haha) It was not a joke. Where did all these passion for people go? How did they die?

The last evening at the camp, I broke down before Him as I hugged Esmond and we were both praying earnestly. I was asking God, how could this be possible that Your love is so amazing. I was telling God that the scene of me n esmond praying earnestly together before Him was indeed ridiculous. I used the word ridiculous because I could never expect it to be happening. I never expect that God could touch us to this extent when I only ask Him to touch us, but His grace and love is more amazing than what we can expect. It can be so ridiculous because it cannot be comprehend, it is too amazing. When I shared about our stories and saw how souls are touched and encouraged by us, I could not praise Him more. Lord, finally, I sow in tears but I reap in joy.

You may not be gifted but you can be the most fitting person in His will, in the place where He put u in to fulfil His purposes. I always thought I cant play instruments, I cant sing, I cant really speak well not even to say to preach, I can’t see myself a talented person in any sense. But I know I love God, I want this intimate relationship with our God, I enjoy His presence and I want to serve Him for the rest of my lives but I don’t know how. When Esmond was trying to tell me the same thing, that he is not good enough, these words came out of my mouth, “Are u trying to say that u, the creation of God is not good enough? Are you an accident u mean?” He was touched, I was speechless because  know it’s from the holy spirit. So we came to realise that yes, we are all special and we can all play a part as the body of Christ to serve Him.

So, at the end of this camp. We all have different visions for God. I want to reach out for the students in my uni, especially the Malaysians. It’s my last year in Uni. And pastor came to me few months ago about doing something like a Malaysian night to tell the church members about us and so they can know more about us and at the same time, support us. So.. why not? I am going to do this and at the same time, reach out to the new students and of course, every Malaysian student at least that I could invite them to. I believe that God is going to make things amazing again!

Being motivated again in this camp, I have finally come to know that yes, I want to start from phase 0 for discipleship! I want to get equipped so that I can go forth and make disciples! I had always failed over the years to equip myself with biblical knowledge to learn more about His words as I am tooooo lazy but this time God is great!!! He sent me a german! She is going to be mentoring me and we are going to do bible study together. Tell me, why not? He works in amazing ways! I never imagine that I would end up in Hope Germany Festival and starting to read the bible with a German friend! GOD IS GOOD!

Also, the fellowship was awesome!! I met a lot of new people in this camp, being able to have a couple really meaningful and impacting conversations. I like the fact where there are a lot of slots where we can just chill and chat and talk about our faith our lives. I learn so much from all these conversations and people that God has brought into my life.

To see how the most unexpected person being touched and people getting baptised. I cant comprehend and I found myself speechless again and again as I look upon His grace and blessings for the people who are willing to open their hearts to Him. So many stories told, so much tears shed. The tears of repentance, tears of joy, tears of being touched. I could feel the holy spirit working among people. Tell me that how could it be if this God is unreal.

So, why not? It’s time to change!

This, too shall pass

Devotion today reminds me again that whatever it is, it shall pass, one day, because everything now is just temporary. The goal is that eternal joy and we shall press on. No matter how bad you feel today, dont worry, they shall pass. You know it, so believe it. The pain also, shall pass. :)

Multiple posts in one.

Too many good things happened in these few weeks and it would be a shame if I dont record them down.


The best weekend of life

Haha, yes. It was the best. A friday outing with the closed ones in Durham, plainly enjoying the sun, and it ended with an early birthday surprise!!! everyone took a bus down to durham just to surprise me at the restaurant during dinner time. I was so touched, so pampered, feeling so blessed. and not to forget, the prezzies I got made me smile like a kid!!! That Saturday was my last day at work, of course, it had been a long waited day. But, guess what, I was reluctant, telling the few methadone patients that I am leaving, having them say goodbye and wish me luck was again a whole new experience. These people might be the people the society dislikes, but I am sure if you love them like any person in life, they love you back. Michelle, my supervisor came in with a bunch of flowers, a card and a photo frame with everyone in the picture. She had been the best supervisor really, I am more than blessed to have her, always so kind to swap my shifts whenever I cant make them. And, what else, two of my colleagues appeared with a cake and pizza hut deliveries!!! It came so unexpectedly, so touched and really feeling so blessed to have met these awesome people in life.And Sunday, Candy and I had a really good session of sharing about lives, issues, blessings in that 3 hours long bus ride to Manchester. Those times were always cherished. And to end this weekend up, my man was standing there welcoming with a hug at the arrival hall in Memmingen. To meet up finally was such a new experience, I could only be thankful for such a thing to happen. 

The surprise party, 30th March 2012

The card and prezie from Michelle and the flowers at the back :)

Safina baked me that gorgeous cake, and thats me in uniform for the last time !

Travelling

The journey started with a missed train! Haha. New train and bus tickets had to be bought again. (Not that cheap really XD) Though it was not the best thing to happen and it was definitely a lesson learnt. And, I am just thankful of the attitude we both had when it happened. We knew we both contributed to being late and there was no point blaming and guess what, it did not affect us that much as we would expected. PTL! It was a rainy 3 days 2 nite trip in Prague!! But fret not, we did enjoy the rain, the total different experience. We enjoyed the cheap food, the unending laughs (My man is super lame, I am sure you agree if you ever get to know him), beautiful buildings, a special bread and the best was just plainly spending time together. And, the journey followed by meeting up with another few friends of mine in Munich. Another 2 days of fun and laugh. And what not, SNOW in SPRING! imagine having snow on blooming flowers. How beautiful could that be. More laughs, fellowships and of course beer sessions in Germany! Haha. Travelling with people you love is always the best thing. The most magnificent view was the one at Neuschwanstein castle I would say. God had been great, everyone was fit and well despite the bad weather and we all really had fun! It was the most relaxing trip ever because I could be all dependant on Mr man with everything, I only need to "carry" myself. Haha. Nothing more. How thankful. To travel during easter was not usual because normally I would be in the church on easter to celebrate His resurrection. But I have learnt that we can celebrate it wherever and whenever we are because we know that He truly lives that today we can be so free and joyful.

On our way back from Prague. :D

On the mountains, Germany

My 22nd Birthday

It all started with a dinner treat at a mexican restaurant from Mr man the night before. To be honest, least expectation I had out of him because he is not that kind of a romantic person but I was wrong!..That midnight, I fell asleep before 12. Waking up to a room full of peach scented candles and romantic songs wad surprising! And he actually decorated me a cakey! I was smiling in his embrace because I know he made that all happened just because of me, a person who never fail to be touched at surprises. He could never understand, but he did it anwyays. haha. And the next day was even more cool! He had a quest for me when he was out to town! making me running around looking for my prezzies! This is so not him! Of course, I am more than happy to find myself a birthday card from dad n mom and a polaroid camera from him, but you know what it was the efforts he made that made me smile. The efforts that I appreciate. And I got a postcard sent from a bloved friend all the way to Germany!!! Was ultra super happy! It was all great, with all the wishes and messages from all over the world :D Thanks for everything all you people who makes my life all that wonderful" And I know the ultimate one I have to thank is my Father Lord in heaven. 

The quest started with the note this miniature Mr man held. 

The rest of my time spent in Aalen, where Mr man lives was awesome. It was just a small quiet town. Meeting up with his friends, his church community and plainly understanding his daily routines were generally a wonderful experience. Having to cook for him and waiting him come back from class while I do my revisions for the coming exam were all simply a joy. The stroll in the evening, the time spent cooking together, praying together, watching movies and getting to know each other more were all much cherished. We grow to know each other more and more throughout the time spent together, good and bad things of course. Love is not blind, trust me, but it helps you accept each other for who we are. Being pampered of course was still the best thing ever. God, has been too good, too good blessing me with such a good mature man. I could only pray that He allows the journey to continue till we are united finally one day in the church. And my pain intensity decreases so much, believe it or not, with him aside :). PTL!

To sum it all up, too many blessings make me wonder how could one be not appreciative with God's grace. 

A summer to remember

Ah, it's been so long again since I last blogged. It's because my lappie broke, so tonight, (since I cant sleep) I grab my housemate's lappie and decided to blog about this really meaningful summer!

It started with Paris trip with coursemates which I had talked about earlier on. Then, it was HOME! It was great how I finally met up with the girls and old classmates and matrix mates =). It's been two years. I was welcomed with all the "OH MY, YOU HAVE GROWN FAT!" haha. I know I know. It was bad at frst but soon I got used with the expressions and responses really. Haha. I had sleepover sessions with the girls and it was awesome, catching up with lives and everything happened in the last two years. We could just stayed up talking and talking till sun rise. Haha. Girls are chatterboxes! We spent time skype dating the others who are in the different corners of the world. I really missed all the times we used to spend really and it was awesome this time that we get to catch up and just spend time! I am so happy that Grace is joining me this September! I met up with old classmates too!! We could spend the whole night talking and talking about our uni lives. HAha. And, those in India are the less fortunate ones. So, we would be listening to all the complaints really about their lives there. And, I felt so grateful about being here now! Of course, we couldnt help gossiping really.. haha, which is bad! Haha. Meeting up old friends was great, different gangs different feelings but they were all awesome. I would say almost each of us had grown to be mature. Everyone seems to have different views about lives now, compared to high school days. And, a lot of them are no longer single! haha. (that's the gossip part really!) Of course, the time spent with the family is so much treasured! Especially finally meeting up with my eldest bro and my sis in law! I really missed those moments we spent crapping, laughing and just being a family! I really do miss them and I wish they are here with us! Dad and mom had been pampering me soooo much like a princess this trip home. Haha, and also my nanny! I seriously miss it! And, I had a lot of rabbits!! ahhh!.. cruel eh? it's known to be tonic though. Haha.

Besides meeting up and catching up, this trip home was all about doctor appointments. Well, I had never mentioned really how my body had grown pretty weak over these years. I was admitted hospital and all. So, finally, I am diagnosed to have a condition called fibromyalgia after seeing a few specialists here in UK and back home. It's basically a condition with pain all over the body, with no specific causes and cure. But, thank God that I had found a really suitable medicine which manages the condition well. it's not life threatening, just affective in one way or another but I believe, by His grace, I will be all well :). I have another condition called plantar fasciitis, where I feel pain around the arch of my feet. I had got injections for the heels and so, they are much relieved too. And, I had few sessions with the "chinese doctor" too. It really helped a lot as according to the doctor, I have dislocated joints (which might have caused more pain). So all in all, I am all right now and I am all grateful! And, really thanks my parents for spending a lot on my health issues this trip!

I had to come back earlier to Sunderland as I need to do my shifts. So, luckily, Esmond came to visit me for three weeks. It was awesome three weeks. Trust me, we went hiking, picnic, canoeing, strolling around the north east. It was just plainly catching up and spending time together. It had been so long since I last met him and I really do miss him! He's still as nice as ever and he has really grown a lot, into a mature man now! But, the lame bit is never changed. Haha. We spent time doing simple things yet meaningful! We spent time praying together too and I am really touched seeing him a christian now! :) I am more than thankful for what a friend he is. I really find him a great company over the 3 weeks as we travelled together, taking it slow and enjoying His creation in the most peaceful pace. (I bet it was all good cos he carried everything for me! =P) I really thank God for the chance of the fellowship together.  Ah, I miss you and thanks! I shed tears when he left, tears of reluctance :(. We shall meet again, in Germany!

Ah, so only two weeks left now till school starts. I better cherish the time left! =) That's a long messy entry =X

2 Peter 1

Read this passage again after reading Phe's blog! It is a reminder I need so much now, to grow in faith and to focus on the truth.

Had a date with Jesus at this other bank of the river. (never walked this side) To find rest, be quiet and be still in His presence. 

Psalm 22:9-11

⁹Yet You are He Who took me out of the womb; You made me hope and trust when I was on my mother's breasts.¹⁰I was cast upon You from my very birth; from my mother's womb You have been my God ¹¹Be not far from me, for trouble is near and there is none to help.

Devotion today reminds me that there are times that only God can help and I need to go to Him alone and win this battle. It actually says if people can help us out, we don't actually have a problem.