By His grace

I challenged my soul and emotions, didnt I? By His grace, I think I did it. =) It's all good. 


But it was uncomfortable in some senses. :( WWJD

It's so windy!

Another windy day! Let me check, the forecast says it's blowing at 39mph!!! You could barely move when it's blowing from the opposite direction of where you are going. And, your hair just go everywhere, even your bag cant stay on your shoulder properly! You just move forward or backwards from all directions! Trust me! You could feel that your phone might get blown if you don't grip it tight. SCARY! And if you happen to be carrying a plastic bag, it'll be going everywhere! And I was carrying notes and the paper, basically hugging them! And I think it's funny how you could stand at one point, having bright sunshine above your head that minute and the next, it's covered by the clouds! :) You can actually get it indoor! 

And I was bored enough to actually document it. XD

Look at the treees! And listen to the sound of the wind, it's fierce! And, the clouds!(I wasnt moving at all) And, in this, if you see properly, you could see what I meant about the sunshine, being there and gone next sec. (not very good in this one, don't know why I cant upload another vid) And I was holding my cam with both hands, it moved so much!

Pay attention to the fast-moving clouds above the static houses! I have never seen such scene in Malaysia. And, I think I enjoy looking at them, provided that I am staying indoor! :D

If it is one of your windy days (lots of ups and down) in life, don't worry. You will still get the sunshine (hope!) as the clouds (problems) get blown away (The clouds listen to Him XD) Reminds me of faith!

Emotions.

Emotions, can be so demanding in a sense that they want all your attention! I woke up feeeelinggg soooo lousy! Partly it was because I had a long night at work, so I was physically tired. And, I had a dream, so vivid that it brought back memories that have already faded. Then, I started feeling nostalgic. And then, the glooomy sky made me feeeel gloooomy as well (now, I'm blaming on the weather! XD) Or should I blame the hormones instead? (Esp girls?) And loneliness.. makes it worse. yikes.

I have a chemistry exam next week. So, I NEED to study, but I seriously couldn't focus. I was thinking about a lot of stuffs, except Chemistry! XD 

I felt so lousy that I found myself chopping carrots, onions, garlic & etc for dinner. (I think it was only 1pm) Taking my sweet time, I really did enjoy preparing for cooking. I think I just found myself a new way to satisfy the emotions, putting them at rest. :) (Trying not to give in to this funny thing, called emotion)

Was thankful that all the ingredients for pasta are so cheap here, compared to Malaysia. :)

I baked pasta! :) Housemates think it was not bad at all! :)

And, honey roasted parsnips. Housemates don't really like parsnips. =/ But I think those I had at bro's still taste better though. :(

I definitely enjoyed cooking and there'd be nothing else in your brain, except trying the best to cook nice food. :) Emotions plainly have no way to attack your soul that time! 

Housemate found this at a grocery shop! =D I like it! It is Sweet and Hot! (I said sweet first, cos you taste the sweetness first before your taste buds get the spiciness.

It's never easy when emotions start to get hold of you. But, I believe, it's still a battle to win! I find talking to Him the best way still, but so many times, we just tend to forget about this and think that other things are able to satisfy this demanding soul, and end up feeling worse and worse at the end of the day after trying so hard yet unsettled. Isn't it?

This reminds me of a phrase;

If you can't sleep, don't count sheep, talk to the shephard. :)

Brilliant weekend in WHITBY!

And so, no more classes for this week after the last presentation for the semester on thursday. I decided to visit my bro, Charles and his girlfriend, Swee Yen in darlington. To be honest, it was plainly because my lappie got hacked (dont ask XD) and so I need my bro to reformat it and of course, I do want to see them! We havent been meeting up due to my exams and buzzinesssss. 

Had great times after the presentation in newcastle with the mates for good food (DIM SUM! =)) And then they sent me off at the train station. I enjoyed the ride to bro's place as I listened to the songs in my shuffle when the train passed by the durham cathedral with the sun setting. Good, quiet time just pondering on life. I do appreciate solitude once in a while, the freedom and just the quietness it brings. (which soon dozed me off XD) Luckily, this girl beside me got down at darlington also, if not I might have missed the station. haha. 

Good food at  brother's! (He cooks!) It was a great evening chatting and laughing. Ah, quality fellowship I LOVE! 


The next day we visited Whitby!! Aaa.. It was 1.5 hrs drive away from darlington. it was foggy n we could hardly see much of the scenery. So much of the good view. XD And finally, we were there!

! I remember the last time we went to the beach was midnight when larry came to visit! Crazy moments with thousands of seagulls lining up on the beach, sleeping! (AMAZING!) Ah, I love the sea, the blue sky. The breeze. The smell of the sea! We were all so excited!! The weather was superb later(thought it would be foggy), totally thankful for it!

The steam passenger bus! (spot the steam) It's called "Elizabeth"!

And we had the legendary fish and chips at The Magpie Cafe, was rated as the best in the Britain! I had haddock and chips. Gorgeous, fresh fishy!!!

Then, we climbed up the 199 steps to the cliff to visit the St. Mary Parish Church with the grave yard and the ruins of Whitby Abbey. The steps wasnt as bad as we thought. 

Apparently, this is where the author of Dracula, Bram Stoker got inspired. The church yard and the ruins of the abbey. And so, Whitby has this gothic weekened event every year and it was it when we were there! Lots of people dressing up in the town!

 "But, strangest of all, the very instant the shore was touched, an immense dog  sprang up on deck from below ... and running forward, jumped from the bow on to the sand. Making straight for the steep cliff, where the churchyard hangs over the laneway to the East Pier ... it disappeared in the darkness."

from Dracula by Bram Stoker, 1897

There was a goth there!

The sun and the clouds with rays of light shining upon the cross!! And the whole town is under your feet.

The Whitby Abbey! Personally, I love this part of the trip the most. It wasnt all about the mighty and great abbey. It was plainly about being at the top of the cliff, getting the whole view of the town, the sea, the greens. I was awed by the scenery, His work of creation. It was beautiful, plainly indescribable. I felt rested. I talked to Him. I was just simply appreciating everything I could see, feel and taste at that very moment. And fresh air! :) especially after stressful times in uni.

Then, we went for tea! The whole trip wouldn't be as wonderful if there weren't lovely peoples around! :) Good fellowship of laughters and joy!!! And of course, the cakes! XD

And lastly, the lighthouse! 

I am sure I am coming back to this place next time I am definitely taking the steam train. (We hesitated cos it was bit pricey!) 

All in all, WE HAD AN AWESOME DAY! :) Totally thankful for it! But, we were all knackered at the end of the day. Haha. I remembered this song from childhood in the midst of my excitement earlier of the day.

"Hung Ngang" XD

A quick, satisfying brunch =)

Dispensing Exam

Trust me, I am so tired now, mentally and physically. An exam never failed torturing me! I wonder why! But by His grace, I would say I do get better (less panicked) as compared to last time. Ahh well.. I am proud that I did not take beta-blocker, propranolol (something that slows your heartbeat) this time. But still, i tried something homeopathic. (for calming effects)

Some sort of flower remedies it is, well, I would say it does help. But, I really cant be sure if it was just placebo effects. Haha. I got it just because the price went down, to be honest. Ah wells, try it!

So,  two days before my dispensing exam, I was talking to my housemate over the breakfast (just an usual breakfast) Had the day planned earlier on with stacks of prescriptions to study, but who knew, I started throwing out (everything!) and soon fainting before I even finished off 10 prescriptions. I could not stand properly and started fainting and fell down in the toilet. Thank God I got my housemate before I passed out!! They tried to massage me (suspecting a heat stroke) but nothing got better. Took two paracetamol (panadol) and it did not get any better. We were thinking if I had to visit the hospital again but I prayed really hard and told them I should try to sleep and see what happened. I sleeeeeept (waking in the middle feeling giddy still) and sleeeept until 5pm! Woke up feeeeling really weak, and the thought of having dispensing exam on monday really freaked me out. What ifs..

Found myself totally helpless in bed, gazing into the air. I prayed, really hard. I remembered I was desperate, telling Him, okay, I got to be fit for this important exam, I shall recover fast and be prepared, nothing should come anymore XD I was discouraged that time. and hahas, guess what, you wouldnt know if I nearly fainted if you saw me the next day in church. :) |He was FAITHFUL! My housemate nearly forgot about me fainting the day before.

But, my heart which never pumped faster than other people during normal times started being naughty again the night before exam. I could not sleeep!!! Sleeeeplesss.. And I sleept the morning away. (with endless nightmares) I was feeeeling really lousy physically. Prayer, I was praying so hard again for this exam. And PTL I made it through!!!!!...We were all soooo nervous. Three hours of exam which decide our summer holiday or worst, if we are repeating second year.

I nearly passed up a prescription which was outdated (sorry, too pharmacy-ish XD). I spotted the date last minute! Ah, God must had knocked my head on that. Hahas. And oh ya, I was really thankful! I got the number 28 (CL, I thought of your birthday! LOL) and the seat was next to everything I needed to get. Syringes, bottles, boxes and even the items on my prescriptions. Ah, God was good to me.  BUT, I got semething messed up, but I hope it is not bad enough to fail the exam. I was so shaky after knowing it after the exam. And a friend, with a simple phrase, "Leave the rest to Him!" stopped me from worrying. :) So true, where's my faith? It's all in His hands now. 

Saw some really sad, helpless faces for those who couldnt finish in time. I felt for them. sighs. I wouldnt say this exam is fair. Some people get easy items on their prescription, while some have to measure 7 bottles of drugs (super time-consuming). Ahh.. :( sobs. I hope they are okay.

That day being in bed whole day was helpless, weak moments. I came to find myself so weak and small. And how big He is that there is no way I could depend on myself. Once again, I was reminded of His faithfulness and being submissive.

One exam down, a presentation due thursday and another exam in two weeks time and here comes holiday!!!! :) Ah, I cant wait. It's been a crazy semester. Time just flew!

Food & Fellowship!

Had dinner over at one of the church members' place last night. :) Happy times with great food!

Dark Choc-ish Log.. Yummy!! I love it cos it wasn't too sweet!

Sushi :)

Doreen cooking the the creamy sauce.

Grilled chicken with sweet potato! So yummy!

Lasagne :)

Jeanne :)

Meringue Fruit Pavlova! Niceee... Should try baking this!

Hui Ping serving

Joyce with the cake

We want more but we were tooo full!

They practise before everyone comes.. and Hui Ping scored the most last night!

Haha..trying real hard to aim eh?

Fuiyoh!

Davin's turn

She recorded our scores!

And Joyce and I baked a really quick pasta for brunch this morning.

One of the eggy is imperfect XD it was yummy :) We were happy and satisfied!!

:) done in less than 30 mins!

I cant focus for my dispensing exam preparation. This is no good! XD
And.. I sorted out my dublin tickets! Flying over the ocean to meet CL and Larry! :) Looking forward! Oh and I had to get a prepaid mastercard to escape being charged for admin fee for ryan air! (Thanks CL for the tips! XD)

[Seek Me as if you were desperate all the time and then you won't find yourself desperate as often in reality.]

Like this one :)

Those moments

Those moments.

Walking alone on the way back home. Listening to songs that stirs up bits of emotions. Walking in the rain. Sitting by the window of the metro. Looking at that something that brings back memories, that particular buidling, that particular bridge, that particular road. Gazing out from the window of my room, behind the curtain. Feeling the sunlight. Looking at the stars in the sky. Waking up in the wee hours. Staying up late. Lying in bed after long hours of uni or work.

Those are the moments.. My brain, my mind, my soul, my heart would start to work so hard....

that I thought of....things....

Things that are and were dear to me which I tried and still trying to put aside. Feelings that I want to let go. Things that matters to me. Words that used to mean a lot. Places that seem familiar. Memories that are still clear and vivid yet had long passed. Things I cherish. People I care.

Sometimes, loneliness creeps in. PTL that at least He is available all the time and whenever we are.

And I miss these things that run in the thought. But, a lot of these things that I thought of, I know I should not be thinking about them. Ughhhh...

It's one of those moments now I guess. : / I better sleep!

Westlife!!

It was awesome! my first ever concert experience was great!!!! I thought I would regret it! :) We just screamed at the top of our lungs, trust me, my throat hurts so badly now. We sang along. We danced! totally danced and had so much fun! haha. And, we jumped!.. aaaa.. good songs. good times. good effects. good atmosphere. good crowd. gooooood looking them! XD aaaaa... XD His beautiful creation bah.. :P We all enjoyed the concert Iam positive :) It was great, stress-relieving moments..

To be honest, I aint a fan, but I have nothing against them. especially when my name is mentioned in 'season of the sun' XD hahas. Well well.. I still think I love their old songs better. Stil, they sang well tonight! :) It was all gooood.. :) Some touching moments.. especially when they sang I want to go home... I really do! XD and You raise me up!

Get scolded by the metro driver cos we wasnt sure if we wanted to go down that station. So was half way at the door, sure she wanted to finish her shift so she screamed into the announcement system. It was harsh words. Then, right after this, *change tone* t"he  next train will terminate at sunderland station", she announched. HAHA. not cool at all.

it's a monday!

Well well.. it's been good four days of shifts..(working as a dispensing assistant in a pharmacy.. just realised i haven;t updated on that) which made up to 24.5 hrs in total for the last four days!. Not easy at all! I could hardly feel my feeeet now. But the good part is it's over and it'd be a week till my next shift :) so time for exam preparation and some gooooood rest..I'm watching westlife tomorrow night!!! :) excited for the first concert ever :)))

Had a productive ten mins nap before work. Being thankful about it! :)

Finally had riceee for dinner! so satisfied and grateful.

Oh, I received a news, which I had beeeeen waiting for months. It's about this summer placement in pharmacy. I didnt get it! Hmm.. to be honest, I am thankful in some ways that I gonna get a good holiday then (finally!) Though it might seem disappointing but well, i got the whole life chance to work.. so.. summer holidays shall be spent holidaying XD (but I still have 12 hours to work per week, with a month holiday only) Cant wait to be back homee..! :)

Done the last case studies presentation this morning! We got 70 from this "stingy" lecturer. So we were overjoyed! haha. :)

our 70! I think it was 60+ in his head :) touched!!! XD

our lunch, not bad at all! :) at the uni cafeteria

Read about this, this morning. And I was thinking of sharing it.

Isaiah 64:8-

Yet, O Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You our Potter, and we all are the work of your hand. 

[I like the story about the couple who went into an antique shop one day and found a beautiful teacup sitting on a shelf. They took it off the shelf so they could look at it closely, and they said,'We really want to buy this gorgeous cup."

All of a sudden, the teacup began to  talk, saying,"I wasn't always like this. There was a time when I was just a cold, hard, colourless lump of clay. One day my master picked me up and said," I could do something with this." Then he started to pat me, and roll me, and change my shape. I said,"What are you doing?That hurts. I don't know if I want to look like this! Stop!'' But he said,"Not yet."

Then he put me on a wheel and began to spin me around and around, until I screamed,"Let me off, I am getting dizzy!" "Not yet", he said. Then he shaped me into a cup and put me into a hot oven. I cried, "Let me out! It's hot in here, I am suffocating." but he just looked at me through that little glass window and smiled and said, "Not yet".

When he took me out , I thought his  work on me was over, but then he started to paint me. I couldn't believe what he did next. He put me back into the oven, and I said," You have to believe me; I can't stand this! Please let me out!" but he said, "Not yet". Finally he took me out of the oven and set me up on the shelf an held me before a mirror. I couldn't believe my eyes, I had become a beautiful teacup that everyone wants to buy."

There may be things going on inside us that we do not understand. But when we finally arrive at that place where God wants to bring us, we will see how it has prepared us for what God wanted for us all along.]

Beautiful, isn't it? :) It encourages me so much.

Happy 54th Birthday Daddy beloved! : )

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Looking at the time, I am sure you guys back home are having a great time celebrating.

*doing some imagination*

Food, Family, Fellowship, Fun! (there're all Fs! haha XD)

 

Talking about my dad, I am always proudly telling people what a great man he is. I was cutting myself some oranges the other day, and I thought of him. He used to knock my door, and came in with plates of perfectly-cut fruits back home. And, I found myself there again, telling my housemates about these little things my dad did which meant a lot to me. He is always that loving.

He could be quiet, serious-looking from the outside. But, he is not, he jokes, he laughs, he is so easy to talk to! He does everything for you but never (trust me, NEVER) boast about it. He never grows tired being a daddy. He did everything from making breakfast to sending me books when I forgot to bring them to school. (the little things that come to my mind at the very moment)

He has the patience of the world! His temper is so slow. He is a man of wisdom. He never fail being my role model! He cares, he loves, he helps, he listens.... I can take forever talking about him, trust me. So yea,

Dad, You are the man of my life! You rock big time! The man I entrust, respect and LOVE!I thank God for having a daddy like you! :)

And I pray (very hard) that my husband is someone like my dad! (HAHA!) well well.. XD

Some pics I found in my lappie



Dad's 51st birthday :) Charles wasn't home 



The man & woman of the family! XD



His naughty look XD





Haha. Happened to find this! I think I was quite not-hyper cos of the spm result. HAhA. :) Bro cant sing! XD aaaa.. memories :)

Earthquake in Japan

Watching the news broke my heart. :(

picture taken from here

Pray for the lost souls.

A friend reminded about what the bible has to say about this.

Matthew 24:6-14

6 And you will hear of wars and threats of wars, but don’t panic. Yes, these things must take place, but the end won’t follow immediately. 7 Nation will go to war against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in many parts of the world. 8 But all this is only the first of the birth pains, with more to come.⁹ “Then you will be arrested, persecuted, and killed. You will be hated all over the world because you are my followers.¹⁰ And many will turn away from me and betray and hate each other. ¹¹ And many false prophets will appear and will deceive many people. ¹² Sin will be rampant everywhere, and the love of many will grow cold. ¹³ But the one who endures to the end will be saved. ¹⁴ And the Good News about the Kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations^[c] will hear it; and then the end will come.

Is the world coming to an end? Is the second coming of Christ getting near? Are we ready for it? Have we been saving souls around us before it's too late? Or have we turn away from Him?...

Bro is supposed to be in Japan now. But, he ended up not going. God's will is greater than ours, isnt it?

夢飛行 鄭欣宜

Been listening to it these few days! I heart it :)

Busy, busy days!

It's been sleeeeplessss nights since monday!

To share, something really bad happened on tuesday! I lost my report which was due wednesday. It just disappeared from my lappie, gone! I was positive I saved the file! But it wasn't there, and I only realized at around 1-ish am. SO, you can imagine how bad that was and I went crazy! And I just had caffeine boost right before realizing that. So, with all the adrenaline I had in the body, I could not calm down at all. Desperate moment it was! Luckily, FRIENDS, God sent them to pull you through those moments! THANK YOU PEEPS! To make the story short, I worked through the night (with much efffforrrtssss) and the next morning (Joyce made me awesome bfast! :))and got it submitted in time! Really grateful!



Joyce's so called 咸蛋超人 ：）Thanks gal! It's been sweet and encouraging! Despite the big lips it has! HAHA!! XD



Ter-Heart-shaped stakes of pancakes from joyce!



And then, we spent the rest of the day in the library for case studies discussions. Tiring. Especially being sleepless the night before, but yes, despite it all, we had good food! Our two groupmates (one from Nigeria, one from Cyprus) decided to have chinese food for dinner. And we had lots of chinese takeaway! Too much. XD

Lots of food. Happy times! Our groupmates love the chinese food! And the food kept us going for the night!

And we spent the night in the library, working on the presentation and talking! Hahas. (as we waited for midnight to comne for the surprise we planned for davin! It's his 22nd!) It was a good surprise! And we had nice cakeeeeeyyy..

Happy birthday Davin!!! :)

Funny and he looks really fat! XD

And today, we had a full day of lab and seminar. And after seminar, discussion. After discussion, lab. After lab, we decided we need a break!!!! We went for grocerries and wanted to grab fish and chips (we were craving for cheap pub food) but forgot the fact that they only serve food during the day time and we ended up having good italian food! It was YUMMY! they never fail making me happy! After food, we ended up staying in the library till 3-ish am to finish off our work. Crazy, crazy uni life! but, Thank God we got it done now!

It was good fellowship! of laughters and happy times! and ITALIAN FOOD! XD

Sweets are aweesommee!Tiramisu & Profiteroles

And housemate, Kai Ling made us rojak! They are just HEAVENLY! aaa...*SMILING WITH SATISFACTION* It's one of the things I miss the most from home! and, I realized it's only months away now to be back home! : )

ROJAK!



And it's going to be busy weekend. I am working four days in a row. Aaaaaaaa... I deserve a good rest now! :) In the midst of the business, I am learning to be thankful for those little good things life brings! And of course, God has been blessing me with good food over the last few days! (you can see :P) :)